4 months since I last written in my blog..

Too many things going on within me, up and downs.. left and right... haizz... sometime makes me wonder, is that what life is all about... others might have a very smoothy sailing life while there are others who are just fighting to live each day with pride.

I really feel I have reach a cross junction where I need to make a change in my path. There are things in life which I came to accept that I will never be able to have unlike others, but there are still things I can strive for to compansate for them. But then, working hard doesn't mean you will definately achieve your goals. haizz...Too many things to think about, really hope to get away, take a break from reality to somewhere where there is only me and no one else.  

空白的世界至少可以让我找到自己。。。

What a beautiful week.. a Beautiful Sunday.

I have been on leave since Friday, will be going back to work on Tuesday. I needed this break for the longest time since the beginning of the year. Needed a break to rest my mind, unwind and reorganise myself before I start my engine going again.

This time round, not so much of work in mind( cleared most of them b4 I go on leave), so I can actually spend most of the time doing things that I love to do, such as watching shows of my idols on youtube, do some self reflections, going to the gym which I just joined to help me lose more weight, keep fit and hopefully it will help me to distress too.

Really treasure the time I have for myself, family and friends...

learning to rest and relax!

The start of 2009 has already made me feel so exhausted.. with work epsecially. 24 hrs a day, 7 days a week really doesn't seem enough for me to use. Training after training on saturdays which last for the whole day, tasks after tasks that needs to be accomplished urgently... ahh! I am simply exhausted. This Chinese new year has not been enjoyable to me cos I just felt so exhausted.

Well, but one thing glad is this year I worked well with my chinese teacher and we make a great team. She is very easy going and working with her is so much fun. Though our class children are still settling down, we are both very positive of things and have the same belief of how our kids should be. Hope that things will stay this way throughout of the year.

 Wishing everyone of you 

 a very happy Lunar New Year!

Today, at my company annual thankgiving lunch, I was awarded the star award by my principal. For a newcomer who has been in the centre for just a year, this came as a great Christmas gift to me. It means alot as it has shown that my hard work and effort are recognised. Never have I expect myself to one day excel and even to receive an award from such a premium company.

However,when I hope to share the joy when the others around me, it seems to them that it's nothing to be joyful of cos all I have got is just a glass trophy with my name on it. For some, those idiot colleagues, they simply just can't take it that I have got the award. I am a human being, I have feelings too. Why it is that for the slightest achievement or things people do, they get appreciated or praised but not me. m I really that unimportant and my feelings can always be neglected by others?  There are so many events in my life that I have experience this. I told myself, I must always consider others' feelings and make others feel good. So it's okie if I have to give in and must always learn to forgive and forget. But What about my feelings? Has everyone ever know that I have got feelings too? It hurts when it's neglected, it really does.

I really hope that these people will know one day, You can tell me if I have done something wrong. I may not be the top of the cream or the prettiest person but please, be nice to my feelings. I can be very nice and give in to you, but there is always a limit to it.

People are scary, especially people at work. They can be very nice to you, but turned their faces at you upon the slightest things that can happen. They never see how much you have given in and helped them, but they would spot upon the most childish matter which they can be unhappy of. Sometimes, I really wonder, What the hell is wrong with these people?

During this bad period, I am glad my trust and prayers in god were answered. I was able to endure, handle and dealed with it calmly and let them know,

I can be nice and easy going, but I am not here for you to take advantage of! I am not here to be taking in all your shit, so... 

DUN MESS AROUND WITH ME!

All these actually paid off cos......those idiots actually went through what I've gone through and now, guess they finally understood the taste of it.. Now, their attitudes towards me have been better.

Whatever it is, I know this is just part and parcels of life so with these eperiences. It will allows me to grow to be more mature and know how to handle obstacles in life which I will bound to be encountering in times to come.

Most importantly,

do not hate the person who has created these obstacles for you,

but be grateful to them for making a fool of themselves

in order for you to grow to be smarter in life.